shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it hurts more in the daytime
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
