Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
