glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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