i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
