I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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