I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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