3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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