i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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