Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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