I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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