I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major