Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Christians are straight up FREAKS

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(248): Christians are straight up FREAKS http://tfl.nu/h2ff

Replies (53) Good night (3875) Bad night (2129)
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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(801): We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move." http://tfl.nu/deqa

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(440): View more from Ohio

he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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(440): he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went. http://tfl.nu/izjf

Replies (37) Good night (1374) Bad night (5911)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.

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(320): That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying. http://tfl.nu/lgsw

Replies (30) Good night (4153) Bad night (1137)
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(818): View more from California

I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.

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(818): I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself. http://tfl.nu/m9u0

Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (1067)
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(317): View more from Indiana

why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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(317): why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator? http://tfl.nu/5m0o

Replies (10) Good night (3132) Bad night (1161)
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(319): View more from Iowa

If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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(319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw

Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (1138)
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(+61): View more from Australia

After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"

(1+61): View more from

I don't know if I want context or not...

(+61): View more from Australia

Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.

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(+61): After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort" (1+61): I don't know if I want context or not... (+61): Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5. http://tfl.nu/jpk3

Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (637)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me

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(647): Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me http://tfl.nu/giau

Replies (3) Good night (615) Bad night (349)
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(510): View more from California

I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition

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(510): I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition http://tfl.nu/332c

Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (381)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob

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(225): there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob http://tfl.nu/syeg

Replies (3) Good night (312) Bad night (506)
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(212): View more from New York

She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up

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(212): She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up http://tfl.nu/3zuk

Replies (8) Good night (721) Bad night (353)
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(801): View more from Utah

I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic

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(801): I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic http://tfl.nu/mfm8

Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (211)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.

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(309): Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages. http://tfl.nu/bzh0

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year

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(208): I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year http://tfl.nu/kbnc

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