Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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