Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
