apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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