I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
