I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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