I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
