Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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