she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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