You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
