Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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