We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
