I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
