i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Terrible idea I love it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
