But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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