It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
