Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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