Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize