Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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