thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
