Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
