Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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