Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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