Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
