I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
