I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
