I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
