thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
