Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize