so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
In America we eat man semen.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
