My underwear smells like fireworks.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
