is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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