So drunk its hurt
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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