yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
