Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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