dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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