some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
