Kiss
Puke
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
