btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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