Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
