So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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