Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
