like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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