I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
