the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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