on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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