If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
