i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
love makes seman taste better
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
