Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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