I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
