how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize