I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
