I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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