We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
