My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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