just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize