Non-Jews are for practice
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
