people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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