I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
