their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
