She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
